The Toronto Blue Jays stand for the National Anthem before facing the Baltimore Orioles at the Rogers Centre April 15, 2012 in Toront. Both teams wore the number 42 in honour of Jackie Robinson Day.
Photo: Abelimages/Getty Images
Fear The Beard.
If the U.S. news media actually did their job
We would know about:
Pirates player pitches a no-hitter on lsd
Pitching a no-hitter is one of the most exalted feats in baseball. It is such a rare accomplishment that in the hundreds of thousands of games played, only 271 have been thrown in the history of Major League Baseball (1876-2011). Amazingly, Pittsburgh Pirate Doc Ellis managed to pitch one under the influence of narcotics, and we aren’t talking about a performance enhancing drug.
The back story, Ellis had been visiting friends in Los Angeles under the impression he had the day off and decided to partake in some recreational drug fun during his downtime. He was still tripping balls when he realized he had to pitch a game against the Padres that night. Incredibly, Ellis arrived at the ballpark in time to throw a rainbow laced psychedelic no-hitter.
In his own words, Ellis recounts the trip:
“I can only remember bits and pieces of the game. I was psyched. I had a feeling of euphoria. I was zeroed in on the (catcher’s) glove, but I didn’t hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters and the bases were loaded two or three times. The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn’t. Sometimes I tried to stare the hitter down and throw while I was looking at him. I chewed my gum until it turned to powder.”
Pretty nuts, huh? Well it only gets better.
“I started having a crazy idea in the fourth inning that Richard Nixon was the home plate umpire, and once I thought I was pitching a baseball to Jimi Hendrix, who to me was holding a guitar and swinging it over the plate. They say I had about three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn’t hit hard and never reached me.”
9 ways pitchers react after giving up home runs
They Develop A Deep, Profound Depression
They Wipe The Sweat From Their Brows
They Smell The Inside Of Their Jersey
They Take A Dump On The Mound
They Look To The Heavens For Guidance Or A Rainout
They Call Their Glove An A**hole And Slam It To The Ground
They Scrunch Their Face To Hold Back A Swear
They Talk To The Ball About Its Betrayal
They Revert Back To Being An 8-Year-Old Who Really Has To Pee